1. Law of Mechanical Repair - As soon as your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible point.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of you being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7. Law of the Bath - When your body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases tenfold when you are with someone with whom you don't wish to be seen.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it always will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach it.
11. Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave before the end of the performance or the game is over, while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to enjoy a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face-down are directly related to the newness and cost of the carpet.
14. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
